I’m Still Alive

I recently had a text conversation with an old friend. We used to stay in contact via The Facebook, but she quit the FB quite some time ago and we lost touch. At the end of our recent conversation, she said “I’m glad you’re still alive.” It was very honest, and very touching. And it made me realize that anyone who read this blog and didn’t know me in “the world” (or the FB) probably thought I stepped on a rainbow a long time ago. It also made me realize how badly I have neglected this blog, and by extension, myself. I’ve been suffering lately, emotionally. Writing has always been an outlet for me. Free therapy. A way to keep things sorted, or get them sorted. Keep my feet on the ground. And in neglecting the space here, I have – in a way – added to my suffering. Or, at least, I’ve erected a barrier to my health. Well, no more. I’m still alive, man. And I’ve a little course correcting (so to speak) to do. Short and sweet, this first post back. I won’t let the overwhelming feeling of being away so long (and the “why’s” and “what’s been happening’s” and so forth) keep me away anymore. I need this space much, much more than I realized.

New Year’s Blessings

And, Happy “Birthday” to me! Today marks two months since my transplant day. It’s hard to believe it’s been two months since I felt so miserable – it both seems like so much longer ago and also like it was just last week. Continue reading

So, It’s Been A While

Yeah, sorry for that. Been up to a lot since I last wrote. I was released from the transplant clinic on the 12th, which was the 12 day after my transplant. Yeah, I kind of rocked that. Continue reading

Day 6

I am doing better, although my fatigue has been worse today than it has been since this all started. My wbc’s are at their lowest right now, at less than 0.1%. That’s basically zero, in immune system speak. Continue reading

Day 0

Today was the day I got my stem cells back. It was rough, let me tell ya. I guess the stem cells are really pretty thick, and the preservative they keep them in can cause some pretty strange side effects. Continue reading

Day -2

With transplants, Day 0 is the day you receive your stem cells, and then you count up from there.

We got down here to San An around 9 last night. We didn’t go to the store, we were too tired. Today, we were at the hospital at 8am, and got “home” around 4 or so. LONG day! Continue reading

SCT 101

Okay, for those of you waiting in suspense to learn why my stem cell transplant doesn’t really sound like a transplant (in that I will be getting my own stem cells back after chemo), here is a quick run-down on why they do it this way and how it works. 
Continue reading