I’m Still Alive

I recently had a text conversation with an old friend. We used to stay in contact via The Facebook, but she quit the FB quite some time ago and we lost touch. At the end of our recent conversation, she said “I’m glad you’re still alive.” It was very honest, and very touching. And it made me realize that anyone who read this blog and didn’t know me in “the world” (or the FB) probably thought I stepped on a rainbow a long time ago. It also made me realize how badly I have neglected this blog, and by extension, myself. I’ve been suffering lately, emotionally. Writing has always been an outlet for me. Free therapy. A way to keep things sorted, or get them sorted. Keep my feet on the ground. And in neglecting the space here, I have – in a way – added to my suffering. Or, at least, I’ve erected a barrier to my health. Well, no more. I’m still alive, man. And I’ve a little course correcting (so to speak) to do. Short and sweet, this first post back. I won’t let the overwhelming feeling of being away so long (and the “why’s” and “what’s been happening’s” and so forth) keep me away anymore. I need this space much, much more than I realized.



It’s been what, 7 months? I haven’t written because I haven’t had much to write about. But, 7 months later, 9 since my transplant, there is some worry that the cancer has already returned. New pain in my arm. Activity on my MRI. I’m being treated with radiation, but will know more after my doctor’s appointment on Monday in terms of what this means in the big picture. I suspect he will want to do another bone marrow biopsy, as that is really the definitive measure.

But, that’s not what has been invading my dreams this past week. Continue reading

Two Books I Highly Recommend for MM Patients (or their caregivers)

Yesterday I received (and proceeded to read the whole thing), Living with Multiple Myeloma: Practical advice from a fellow cancer survivor for myeloma patients, their families, and friends. It is a very well written book by a fellow myeloma survivor and medical correspondent, Pat Killingsworth. Continue reading

New Year’s Blessings

And, Happy “Birthday” to me! Today marks two months since my transplant day. It’s hard to believe it’s been two months since I felt so miserable – it both seems like so much longer ago and also like it was just last week. Continue reading

So, It’s Been A While

Yeah, sorry for that. Been up to a lot since I last wrote. I was released from the transplant clinic on the 12th, which was the 12 day after my transplant. Yeah, I kind of rocked that. Continue reading

So Much to Be Grateful For!

Day 8, and I continue to improve. My energy is coming back well, and while I have occasional bouts of nausea and what I like to call “the trots”, they are not too bad or frequent. Continue reading

Day 6

I am doing better, although my fatigue has been worse today than it has been since this all started. My wbc’s are at their lowest right now, at less than 0.1%. That’s basically zero, in immune system speak. Continue reading