I’m Still Alive

I recently had a text conversation with an old friend. We used to stay in contact via The Facebook, but she quit the FB quite some time ago and we lost touch. At the end of our recent conversation, she said “I’m glad you’re still alive.” It was very honest, and very touching. And it made me realize that anyone who read this blog and didn’t know me in “the world” (or the FB) probably thought I stepped on a rainbow a long time ago. It also made me realize how badly I have neglected this blog, and by extension, myself. I’ve been suffering lately, emotionally. Writing has always been an outlet for me. Free therapy. A way to keep things sorted, or get them sorted. Keep my feet on the ground. And in neglecting the space here, I have – in a way – added to my suffering. Or, at least, I’ve erected a barrier to my health. Well, no more. I’m still alive, man. And I’ve a little course correcting (so to speak) to do. Short and sweet, this first post back. I won’t let the overwhelming feeling of being away so long (and the “why’s” and “what’s been happening’s” and so forth) keep me away anymore. I need this space much, much more than I realized.



It’s been what, 7 months? I haven’t written because I haven’t had much to write about. But, 7 months later, 9 since my transplant, there is some worry that the cancer has already returned. New pain in my arm. Activity on my MRI. I’m being treated with radiation, but will know more after my doctor’s appointment on Monday in terms of what this means in the big picture. I suspect he will want to do another bone marrow biopsy, as that is really the definitive measure.

But, that’s not what has been invading my dreams this past week. Continue reading

You Cannot Compare Burdens

Since my diagnosis, in the course of talking to friends and family, I have often heard the phrase, “It’s nothing compared to what you are going through.” My response has always been, “You cannot compare burdens. No matter what the load, the heaviest burden a person has to carry is theirs alone, and the weight of the load of the person next to them is irrelevant.” Continue reading

Two Books I Highly Recommend for MM Patients (or their caregivers)

Yesterday I received (and proceeded to read the whole thing), Living with Multiple Myeloma: Practical advice from a fellow cancer survivor for myeloma patients, their families, and friends. It is a very well written book by a fellow myeloma survivor and medical correspondent, Pat Killingsworth. Continue reading

Steps on How to Save a Life

1. Register with the National Bone Marrow Registry (requires some paperwork and a cheek swab.)

2. Wait.

3. Wait.

4. Step up when your name is called. Donation is free, all expenses are reimbursed, and it is about as painless as a it can be (a few needles, then you’re done).

5. You are now a life saving hero.

Seriously, it’s that easy.

Click here to go to their page for more info on how to join. Help save a life.

New Year’s Blessings

And, Happy “Birthday” to me! Today marks two months since my transplant day. It’s hard to believe it’s been two months since I felt so miserable – it both seems like so much longer ago and also like it was just last week. Continue reading

So, It’s Been A While

Yeah, sorry for that. Been up to a lot since I last wrote. I was released from the transplant clinic on the 12th, which was the 12 day after my transplant. Yeah, I kind of rocked that. Continue reading